I had another rabbit-hole experience. I went loopy-loop-de-loop-de-splat.
It was pretty big, and it happened very suddenly and very quick.
Ever had all of your chakras spring open at once, and felt kundalini energy shoot up the back of your spine and explode into seven snakes coming out of through the back of your head?
That’s kind of what happened. The gist of it? All of this shit I’ve been going through lately has been a particularly intense Kali purge. I’ve had other smaller Kali purges before like my Mini Kali Yuga that I seem to have every November after bidding Persephone adieu for the winter. No, I haven’t had one this big in eleven years, so a lot of overlap from the past has bubbled up along with it.
I was face to face with Kali, which is something I can’t do often. Kali said “You sweated it out. Literally, kid. You sweated it out.” Over and over. To me her voice sounds like a lady version of Mr. Big from Sex & The Shitty City. She doesn’t talk at me often, but she never says this much.
I’ve been feeling better, and this is essentially the end of THE GREAT KALI PURGE of 2011. I am strong, but I’ve taken such a beating in all areas of my life that I need some shiny-happy-fluffy-bunny-shit right about fucking now! I haz a drained, yo!
I was doing a fairly uninspired ritual. I felt like I had to do it, but I’m so spiritually tapped out and exhausted from THE GREAT KALI PURGE of 2011 that I was sort of phoning it in.
I thought to myself… “You’re kind of disconnected from everyone right now. Back this truck mutha-fuck up, and go find something else to do.”
Then I looked on the ground, and I found ANOTHER marble.
It was an antique clear, greenish glass one. Very pretty.
It’s going in my Kali Box for now. Since Special K isn’t keen on me making altars for her, instead I’m putting my tiny Kali statue in the pretty blue brocade lined box where I keep all of my Marbles.
I realize I’ve found other marble type objects as signs. I always get them right when I’m not feeling it. Right when I’m at my low point. Right when it’s not feeling genuine.
It’s a kickass kickstart in the arse.
I revisited my bong, and re-did the ritual. I have some Sour Diesel, and it’s pretty amazing for ritual. I smoke a lot of sativas, and I’m very picky about my strains. I have a laundry list a mile long of the effects I like and don’t like about a particular strain, and SD is the only thing I’m able to obtain regularly that meets my requirements.
I need a strain whose effects can be effectively metered through it’s dosage. I like a light, bubbly, energetic, mood-elevating, pain numbing high that can also be pushed towards more entheogenic uses. SD is great for that if I have enough of it. SD is what helped me break my head open. SD is also great for mundane tasks like cleaning or running errands. It’s also nice for enjoying food and sex. I also like a strain that gives me good day-after-after-effects like increased pain tolerance, more positive mood, and more energy in the morning. SD is my go-to strain, and my local farmacy almost always has it. Most other strains just don’t give me as much bhang for my buck. The drawback is that I build up a tolerance to it’s stronger aspects very quickly. It works so great for everyday, but I really need to reserve it for ritual. I usually keep an eighth or a couple grams of something else on hand.
It’s like when I struggled to find *the* tarot decks. I bought so many decks before I realized that there was no one perfect deck for me. I had to keep juggling them based on my moods. Cannabis is much the same way. I am very receptive to it, and some types are better than others. There is probably one out there I haven’t tried that’s even better than SD. But so far, during ritual, it’s the only one that keeps me high up enough to keep from being sucked into the underworld. Cindy 99 is good for that too, but it’s not easy to find. Trainwreck is probably bound to trump my dear SD if I ever can get my grubby little paws on some.
I’m not doing lunar or underworld work anymore. I’m over it. Done. Finito. Buh-bye! I see how it works, but I can’t really describe why it works that way. I just know that it’s not really serving me anymore. By giving it up and shutting the doors, I’ve opened an infinite number of new windows.
I incorporated my ancestor shrine into my altar as part of the ritual. I’m packing everything up, so I thought it would be best to put all of my current sacred stuff in one box.
Ah… Well… What’s a girl to do?
It wasn’t the best one or the most inspired one I’ve done, but it was nice.
I have to embrace the idea that not all messages or hints dropped from the divine are going to be like burning blasts of lightening that either scare me half to death or torrents of change and transformation that rip my body, psyche and ego to shreads.
No. Sometimes it’s amazingly simple. A marble is enough for me right now. The marble says… Relax. You’ve earned the right to do so.”
Marbles are small bubbles, but they are bubbles just the same. Hope. That’s enough for me for now.
More bhang for your bubble.