Re-Design is Fine, But CSS is Quicker

Re-Design is Fine, But CSS is Quicker

I’m doing a little bit of much-needed housekeeping this week…

While I kept my blog design very simple on purpose, I am finding that I need to shake things up a bit.

If you can’t see a header, that is because I’m working on one. If it looks purple, that’s probably just your imagination or you need to clear out your browser cache.

I keep getting stuck, so it’s probably going to take me a few days. Hell… you might even catch a glimpse at some junk I’m testing that will probably not work. Either way, it’s been a while since I’ve messed with any design junk and I feel the need to.

I’ll probably come up with something that I like, and it might even be fun. Maybe. Hopefully. It’s rare for me to feel the desire to work, but have zero inspiration. We’ll see how this goes…

Diet*Tarot Day 16: Tower of Flour

Diet*Tarot Day 16: Tower of Flour

You know… I really hate the Tower.

I’m thinking that by setting my goal to learn something to apply to my diet by going through a member of the Major Arcana each day, I am somehow making that same card manifest itself throughout the day in a very real way. If I’d pulled The Sun today, I wonder how different it would have been?

I’m feeling dipped in shit and kicked in the biscuits about now because I overdid the carbs today. Not too bad, but enough to feel ooky. My hunger and appetite was all over the map today. Some foods that I normally like tasted bad (like my heavily doctored medifast cappuchino crap). I was hungry, but it was definitely more of an emotional, knawing, angry, bored hungry. It was a little bit like PMS BLOOD SUGAR RAGE hungry, which is very Towersque. I got fake morning sickness again this morning, for no reason.

Blah… Blah… Blah…

I’m right about sick of hearing me go on.

I’m jumping of the roof of the Tower now. I’ll see you guys when I reach the bottom, if I don’t perish in the fall.




Isn’t it not like The Tower to urge me to give up? To throw in the towel, for no other reason than the fact that I’m tired. I’m tired of giving eating mindfully so much damn attention, rather than going for what is convenient to grab so I don’t pass out. I’m tired of writing about it and talking about it.

I didn’t cheat today. I didn’t binge. Score two points for me.

I wanted to. I pushed it a bit more than a normal day. Score two points for the Demon Monkey Back Beast.

I believe we are at an impasse. Like the Tower, I can’t go back to where I was before. I can only move forward. Change is not easy, nor should it be. The Tower is CHANGE, at its most urgent, needed, chaotic, and necessary. The Tower burns as if struck by a chance catastrophe, but I don’t think that’s always true. The Tower’s destruction seems almost purposeful to me. Inevitable. The walls are burned and torn down to make way for the new. There is no land around it to burn (in most RWS style decks, any ways). The rubble can only sink into the sea. For quite some time, I’ve thought that since water is quite possibly the catalyst and/or basis for Earth’s amazing array of living creatures (the science dudes said so!), we don’t really seem to give it its due. Water is regenerative and creative… The rubble from the destroyed Tower can be made into something else. Different? Maybe. Better? Maybe… or maybe not. The important thing to keep in mind is that it’s simply part of the cycle.

You can either burn or jump off the roof, hoping and praying that you won’t hit the waves too hard.

It’s a choice.

To move forward, I have to jump. So… this is me jumping. Almost. I’m still standing on the ledge with flames nipping at my back. In light of all this, I’ve done well today.

The Tower has unexpectedly been the most personal to me throughout all this. I would have laughed if you told me that this morning. But I see it very clearly. I’m not sure if I am ready to jump, but I am going to have to.

The image is very clear, sharp, and vivid in my mind. I know without a doubt that I might have to do some pathworky shaman shit. I don’t really enjoy shamanic journeying. It tends to make me feel very tired and energetically drained, whereas experiences involving gods is quite the opposite. Perhaps the frequency of the gods is just a bit more crisp. At any rate, I need to unravel this and I can’t think of any other place to start.

So, I’m going to have the do a pathworking with The Tower.

Yeah. Not looking forward to it. Not at all. But, change is necessary. I can’t put it off for long, if I want to make these good habits longterm.

Man… I’m so fucked!

Diet*Tarot Day 14: Temperance? Talk to the Pants!

Diet*Tarot Day 14: Temperance? Talk to the Pants!

So… Temperance. We meet at last!

Day 14.

That’s over half-way there. I should congratulate myself by getting myself a new iPhone, but since I was going to do that anyway…

I’m feeling good physically and mentally. I feel in control, stable, and able to go the distance. In short, Temperance got here with a bang, albeit a smooth and mellow sounding one. A little less bang for your buck initially, but Madame Temperance is a longterm investment. That lack of fireworks isn’t at all a bad thing. I see Temperance as being a more passive yet still active manifestation of the Magician. It’s more about the subtleties than flashes of glory. The water flows up and down in constant motion, and that takes a certain degree of skill. She braves the water and controls it, with one foot back and the other ahead. It’s a rhythm. My newly established routines and habits have taken on a sort of flow that makes them seem more like the regular scheme of things.

Temperance is not the new black. She is the new normal.

I am a little bit hungry. I eat. I move on. Food for fuel and enjoyment? Yes. Fuel first. Mindful eating? Sure, that factors in too. Temperance invented mindful eating!

I’m not about to complain about my clothes fitting a little bit better. My mental outlook while dieting is very much tied to the fluctuations I see on that damn scale. I’ve only stepped on the scale twice in the last two weeks, and I don’t feel the need to do so today or even tomorrow. The scale lies, but pants don’t. My pants are looser. They speak for themselves.

Oh? You’d like to speak to my pants?

Sorry, Devil. It’s not going to happen. Every Devil has his day, and yours is not until tomorrow.

Diet*Tarot: Death Becomes Her

Diet*Tarot: Death Becomes Her

Today is the day I was most dreading thus far.


My birthday weekend!


Today was the first day I felt a difference. A pair of pants I grabbed off the wrack a few months ago that ended up not fitting me at all are… wait for it… wait for it…

A little bit loose!

FUCK YEAH! Physical transformation? I got it! I got it right here!

I feel good, vindicated, and suddenly restored.

I am also high as fuck right now, but that’s probably an entry for another time.

It was my birthday dinner, so I indulged in some homemade pasrtry and good beer. Other than that, good-good-good! I also indulged in some particularly divine herbal apetizers. I’ll admit to it. Whatever man. I have a doctors recommendation, and am perfectly legal to use it in the lovely state of California.

Crickey… I am sure some pagans enjoy herbal intoxicants. I am also sure that some do not find it at all appropriate. I  personally say “fuckit!”. I just don’t care. My use of herbs is in between me and my gods, not that I don’t enjoy talking shop with a fellow connoisseur! If that purples your kush, can I get a hell yes?

Hell yes!

I feel restored. Transformed. Had some good metaphysical stuff surface today.

Death? It means that I’ve hit a plateau with more mountains to come.

I can soooooooo do this!

I bought a pair of pants last week, my usual size. They don’t fit anymore! Whooo-hooo!