Now I know Special K is fucking with me.
Yes… Kali-Ma is trolling me for lulz!
I know for a scientific fact of some science and shit!
I downloaded the audiobook for Brian Greene’s The Elegant Universe. Time, strings, and vibrations-oh-my! I always think of K. when I imagine the deep black inky endless depths of space. Life flourishes when nurtured by Nature. Time allows us the forward momentum needed to keep us changing, developing, growing and evolving. The Material World certainly isn’t the only way to roll, and I sincerely believe that God or The Divine have some connection to the so-called Theory of Everything. Yes, I am probably imposing some crazy-ass mystical fuckery over the scientific aspects of it, but I don’t care. God isn’t something we can really comprehend, but archetypes at least give us some way to translate it. We can understand it better that way, from our current perspective. Kali is Time. She gives us her gift of Time so that we can create, grow, learn, and thrive. The Universe is a harsh place.
Given time, we may come to understand more about why we’re here… How we got here… If there is anything at all to it… Who our ancestors were. What The Mysteries mean… What lies beyond our scope… How the Universe is made…What the gods are… What the Divine is… What it means to have a Divine Spark residing within all of us…Wooohoooo! Party over here!
Growing pains are a son of a bitch. Kali creates the possibility for these conditions, but is indiscriminate in destroying them at random. She’s the Wildcard! Time and Change destroy just as much as they create. Civilizations fall. People perish. Natural disasters, disease, and Lindsay Lohan happen.
Without Time, there is no Change.
Change is what keeps the Universe in motion.
It all sort of trickles out, and it amuses me. She’s giving me some BIG BIG BIGGITY BIGGIE SMALLS XXXXL SIZED OVERCOAT stuff of COSMIC-WOO-WOO-CRAZY-LA-LA-PRETTY-SHINY proportions the week I am fucking closing escrow!
As if the health issues and crazy stress at work I’m having aren’t enough… My loan docs were fucked up. We keep having to pay more money. My physical therapist worked me over today in a bad way. I ran out of pain killers of the pharmaceutical and herbal variety. We’re in the middle of a wicked snow storm. I am PMS’ING!!!!!!!!!!!!
Eris is still floating on a block of selenite out in the Mediterranean somewhere, so it isn’t exactly destructive.
It’s just causing me a lot of anxiety and it’s fucking annoying.
Today, I worked from home for the afternoon since it was supposed to snow badly this evening. I left the office at 1:00. I was expecting my refill of meds to be delivered, but Fedex hadn’t shown up yet. I was a bit upset, since I’d been without pain meds for a few days, and I was in a great deal of pain after my therapy session. I checked the tracking at 4:00pm… They were delivered at 12:52!!! I don’t know how I missed them, but I must have walked right past the truck! I ended up getting the start of a pretty wicked migraine, and the snow was letting up for a few hours so I had to turn around and drive back to work to get my meds.
I’m glad I did. I was dying!
That is the kind of shit I’m dealing with. I can barely read for shit, other than reading on the present won’t give me anything but mud, but the future is bright and crystal clear.
Oh… and I also get to get lab work next week! Oh joy!
We get our keys tomorrow. I feel like I’m not just out of my pretty pink bubble, but more like some asshole popped it with a pin.
Fuckity-fuck-fuck-fuck! I’m out of explanations for this stuff. It happened before I used anything for pain meds. The meds just make it a bit more visual and a bit more personal.
It’s tough love of course. Kali is about love in her own way. I experience great transformation when working with her that comes with a clarity that transcends the more chthonic more underworldly charms of Persephone, the first Dark Goddess who called me.
Kali is some aspect of the Universe. I don’t know what.
Two bright eyes popping out of the darkness… A pop of faintly dim starlight piercing through a dark veiled black hole hellbent on destroying us.
Why are there so many Songs about Black holes
And what’s on the other side
Black holes are visions but only Illusions
Black holes have nothing to hide
What’s so amazing
That it keeps us star gazing
And what do they think we might see
Oh, someday we’ll find it
The Black Hole Connection
The lovers, the dreamers, and me …
Physically, mentally, emotionally, and hormonally I’m a shipwreck. Spiritually… I’m a’ight!