Dear Great Big WTF…

Dear Great Big WTF…

Dear Great Big WTF,

Also known as the glue that binds God, god, Gods, gods, The Universe, Nature, The Divine, The Collective Unconscious, The Material World, The Underworld, The Microcosm, The Macrocosm, Energy, Matter, Time, Spirit, Creativity and Consciousness… You know… All that good stuff. I have no idea how it works. I just trust that it does.

Perhaps that’s faith or perhaps it’s simply that I trust my experiences and enlightenment thus far to know that it’s all gonna be okay.

Seriously. Humans worry too much about what deities want or don’t want. It’s really simple. A deity who cares for you and wants to help you will show you what it needs or wants from you. A deity with whom you have no connection or business troubling will not make it so easy. We have a vast array of spiritual choices. If Jesus is just alright with you, that’s totally okay with me as long as you don’t get in the way of my Saraswati Partay.

Ain’t no partay like a Saraswati partay cos’ a Saraswati partay don’t stop!

At this point in existence, it’s a Super Spiritual Smorgasborg O’ Spirit. The dazzling array of choices at the buffet is daunting. Sure, not everyone in the world is down with religious freedom or personal choice, but they’ll come around eventually. The fact that parts of the world are more open to different spiritualities, philosophies, and isms? This is a step in the right direction.

Still, I don’t want to believe. Not even now. Not after all this. My life was much easier before ALL THIS. But… here I am! I gladly accept the great gifts my gods have given me. They always provide what I ask for, just not always in the way I wanted. I get to my destination eventually, I suppose, and that’s good enough.

It’s not perfect, and I don’t want anyone to think so. Perfection is not my goal. Answers and a sense of knowing my place in the Patterns is enough for me. I have that. I know things I can’t share with anyone, but I’m still learning how to keep my big mouth shut.

I’m a very talkative girl. My crocodile mouth bites my hummingbird ass every time. Bigmouth Strikes Again.

My gods are patient with me. Since weaving an alliance of sorts with Kwan Yin, I’ve been able to see the greater good in all of my recent trials. It’s a thin veil of divine love that makes the throes of a Kali Purge worth it.

I’ve purged gods I no longer needed. Relationships change with gods like they do with people.

If the Greek’s taught us anything about divinity it’s that even the gods are infallibly human at times. Sometimes they get it wrong. Each person is different and how it will be interpreted is hard to say.

I don’t know much of anything other than what I know in my gut, the place where my connection to Kali lurks, beaming brightly through my solar plexus but burning the bottom of my heart chakra.

So, Great Big WTF… I’m not saying “Bring it On!”. I’m saying… “If you must, please go with the path of least resistance.”

You popped my shiny pink bubble and let me bounce off the rocks a couple of times. Not cool, bro. Not cool at all. I want a velvety soft cushion of marshmallow fluffy down pillows to land on. Or do me a solid and make it a liquid! Anything.

It’s been a rough road. Less is more.

I want peace. The complete Persephone Path offers great transformation and rebirth, but one cannot pursue it indefinitely. The push/pull of the Kore vs. The Queen of the Underworld was too intense for me to handle for such a long time. The Erisian wildcard gave it unnecessary sparkage. My Kali Yuga may well pass eventually.

So, let’s make my little Mini Pilgrammage a good one, eh? Let’s do it!


Eris Q. Hilton


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