Divine sparks… It’s subtle. I’m taking my time to heal. I thought the purge was done, but it’s just growing ever more closer to dormant for now. It’s going to go out like a bang. I had a very rough week last week. Again, I wasn’t well protected enough. I was tired, sensitive, and raw like an exposed nerve. I visited a professional a few weeks ago… Red is a and pretty kickass lady and high-priestessy sort of gal. Wise, but down to earth. She’ll tell it like it is. I sugar coat readings for others. I drip on the Polly-Annaism thick like molasses.
Not Red… She’ll point out things she never could have known.
When she told me that it sounded weird to her, but someone likes it when I go to the cemetary and put flowers in the dirt. I had to laugh. I ceased doing Persephone rituals right before we moved. It was right after I experienced my first complete Kundalini rising, right after I met Kali at the end of the black and blue tunnel. It was right after I broke down completely. I stopped doing any lunar work at all. One of my rituals for Persephone involved leaving flowers, beads, marbles, or other offerings at random areas in the old pioneer cemetary at the top of our old street. It’s something my husband did as a young goth kid, and something we still did together. It started with us leaving a cheap ceramic lawn gnome in a strange place, and it’s grown from there. I’d usually leave an offering to her the next Sunday after my Full Moon Ritual. I stopped doing those a while ago too.
I decided to start the offering back up again… Not to Persephone. Our time together is done. Our chords are severed. I have nothing left to give to the Underworld. It’s one path of many, and I have choices. I choose to move in a higher, more loving, and healing direction. I want to work with gods who will help me continue to grow and help me become more enlightened. I feel a lot more peace with my spiritual path, even in the dark or silent times.
It’s been really quiet here with no Erisian chatter buzzing in my ear. Oh… Our Lady of Chaos will return again soon. For now, I seek order and stability in my environment through Ganesha, Lakshmi, and Parvati. There has been great radio silence, but it’s been a blessing really. More is coming.
My health is still not good, but I am doing the best I can. Slowly I am healing, but it may take more time. Stress and medications I’ve taken and new food intolerances is the cause of all this terrible trouble.
My sex life is still way better. Wow. Way better. Fixing my busted root chakra was just what I needed, apparently.
Work is… stressful. A time of great change and upheaval. It will calm down in June. It’s not me, it’s everyone around me.
I don’t have spiritual work to do right now. Not the time for magick or tarot even. Just putting our large Ganesh altar in our bedroom and getting the lighting right was enough for me for now. I am going to make a distinction between elaborate story altars from my every day devotional ones. Devotional altars are important, but I think if I am working through a current, I need that more lucid and creative ritual form of Altar Craft. I don’t need to change all of my altars, just the one that I’m using to explore the particular current I’m surfing. I can keep simpler more subtle home altars that way. I’m very tricky like that.
For now, I am in the middle of treating the large Swiss printed Thoth deck that I trimmed to a little glitter nail polish treatment a’ la my friend Submerina. I’m going to call it… DISCO THOTH!
I’m going to have to go visit someone soon… In June. For now, I’m in a holding pattern. Not bad, but it could be better.
My new home is beautiful, comfortable, and almost feels like home. It’s not perfect, but we’re working on it.
So I heal, I relax, and I wait… I don’t know what comes next, but I’m working on reinforcements. I need all the protection I can get.