I should have known that the reappearance of my ulcer, the strange bouts of nausea, the fatigue and general lack of energy I’ve been feeling are coming from somewhere. Yes, I have a lot going on, but my body hasn’t “crashed” like this in a while.
There is a lot of new going on.
My pink bubble has popped.
I was hoping that Special K might wait in the wings for a bit, at least until moving happened.
Not so much. She never comes on so strong in the spring time. She’s more of a late fall kind of Goddess of Creation and Destruction.
She’s here. Physically, I’ve known for a while. I didn’t want to ask, but now I have my answer.
She doesn’t like altars, but she wants a spot in the latest incarnation of my ever-shifting altared states of consciousness. I gutted all of my altars over the weekend, and packed some shit up. I’ve only got one big one left out which I won’t dismantle until we move or until instructed otherwise.
Special K wants in on that action. Apparently.
I will give her what she wants. I am just too tired to refuse. My ulcer is healing, but I still can’t eat much. I’ve lost eight pounds without even trying. I can eat tea and licorice fairly easily. Oh… I’d have no sustenance if not for soup. Weed helps me choke food down, but not much. I’m still having bouts of queasiness and nausea.
I’m not pregnant, thank the gods!
Still… I don’t know what’s going on. I’m not doing anything new or different.
Special K is back on the altar.
Maybe I also need to do some damage reinforcement with Eris? That might help too. The bitch is still on ice (a.k.a a block of selenite) to thwart chaos, but maybe she’s pissed!
Fuck. This shit sucks.
How could I go from pink bubble of divine love, compassion, and empathy to crying on the sofa because I’m so fucking hungry but can barely even choke down saltines without wanting to hork?
Buy the ticket. Take the ride. My stress always manifests in my physical body, so golly-gee-fun-bananas… This is fucking swell.
My guts are made of tiny Towers.