My shiny pink bubble has a little hole in it…
Looks like my ulcer has come back. I am hoping that it’s just ulcer, and not Kali Ma coming around for a visit. It’s been a little over a year since I’ve had one, and I kind of expected it honestly. Whenever there is a NSAID party at my house and the party goes on for more than a few months, my guts get all twisted. I’m having a hard time eating, and I’m one of those chubby girls with a decidedly healthy appetite. I never miss a meal if I can help it, yet I find myself struggling to choke food down without getting sick. It will heal up if I’m especially nice to it for a few weeks… No coffee (fuckers!), no spicy (double fuckers!), no alcohol (triple fuckers!), and smoking… tobacco. (The green stuff stays. It’s the only way I was able to eat dinner last night).
I can’t eat, so my blood sugar rages. It’s really kind of ugly.
I suppose I was waiting for the other shoe to drop, and here it is. I don’t think it’s another Mini Kali Yuga. It just sucks when I have ulcer + Kali together. Maybe that was a fluke, but I don’t want a repeat.
I have to concentrate on the little things… Will I snap and lose my temper due to all this bloodsugar fuckery? Probably. Sorry Kwan-to-tha-Yin. I’m trying. I’m really trying to be better about it. Will I make it to work without pulling over to throw up? Not that I do throw up, I just feel super nauseous.
I’ve been through this before.
Shit stil sucks.
I think it might be White Tara time… I need to heal my shit up!