Someone has been very patient with me. But she’s very kind about it as only she would be. She’s come up on the periphery enough times for me to pay some attention to her. Not strong, but subtle, fine, and barely a sparkle. Kwan Yin has a very different kind of love than that showboating sexy-time Aphrodite kind of love. It’s more clear. More conscious. More evolved. More something else. Empathy and compassion are the two kinds of love that I know my cat doesn’t have because he is such a fat-ass, manipulative jerk. I say that out of love, of course. Empathy and compassion are the types of deals you get when a being is able to sense or connect with the emotions of others, rather than just those of his own. Things get a little bit more complicated from this point. Instead of survival of the fittest, it’s survival of the shiny-happy-people. Not the kind that holds hands… Maybe some other kind. I don’t think we even had hands yet, but I’m sure we’d grown past talons. Talons rock!
You’re no longer surviving just for yourself. You’re surviving for others as well when you’re able to recognize that they are also distinct beings from you who are worthy of mutual love and protection. Empathy and compassion are two things that make dogs and humans so close. Dogs may not feel these things as we do, but they can be emotionally connected to us somehow. They seem to love us unconditionally. It’s the sweetest kind of love there is. Even if your cat doesn’t love you, your dog probably always will.
We’ve just taken it in another direction.
Kwan Yin makes it possible for us to look outside ourselves, care, love, and comfort those who may need it from us. She also makes it possible for us to do this for ourselves. We’re often much harder on ourselves than others ever could be. The Lady says… “No. You don’t need to do that. Act out of love to all… Even yourself.” She brings it back around in a way. We need to look outside ourselves to be able to look within. It’s a gift. She can reflect the areas where you need to be a bit kinder to yourself, as well as others. She is kindness more than anything, and she will remind you in small ways, just when you think you might have forgotten how.
She’s not shouted for my attention. Subtle, gentle, and always with love- She’s darted in here and there in small but beautiful ways. She’s not going to overcome in a rush and a gurgle, and a desperate trip down the rabbit hole like Kali Ma. She won’t delight and tantalize with hope and firelight like Maha Lakshmi. She doesn’t snap you back to reality with a minty crack of her ruler across your knuckles like Saraswati. You laugh about it after, and she’ll then show you some cool sights to make up for it. Lakshmi swirls around red, green, and gold. She comes up when there are cushions, rich fabrics, deep yet bright colors, honey, or the Home Decor section at Ross. She’s my downfall. She’s and Eris have a deal that seems to wrack-up my credit card debt. No mas, Ladies! No mas! Eris is a brief but bright snap=crackle-pop in my nervous system that manifests in almost everything, but only comes by to say howdy when my defenses are down. It’s all about preserving the good Eris while tossing out the darker, manic Eris. Eris meaning the goddess, not the Hilton. Thought I’d make that distinction.
Kwan Yin is above all that in some way. Not as high up as Tara, but a bit elevated. She dropped hints, and I took the time to see them.
I have to forgive myself for a lot of things. I can do better, and I will do better. She is part of the Path to Temperance. The Hierophant in me will find out more. The Erisian in me will try to distract me with other things. The Queen of Wands in me just goes for it. The High Priestess in me will get moody about it. The Empress in me will pout and get bored. That’s okay. I love myself for all my faults, and can forgive myself for some of my bad habits. I also love myself enough to learn, move on, move forward and waste no more time getting past them.
I’ve been through a rough patch spiritually, with strong, dark Ladies turning everything on its side. Eris. Kali. Persephone. These are not Ladies you want to fuck with unless they call you first. I’ve just had to go along with it, just to get through it. I don’t have a choice. They called. I answered, thinking “Oh shit! What did I just do?!” right after. So we’re moving past the worst of it… for now. I’m getting more White and Green Tara and Ganesh than I’ve ever gotten at this time of year. Usually the Holidays are spiritually vacant ones for me. Not this year. It feels more magickal and hopeful than it has in a long time. New starts… They’ve exploded in a bright array of symbols, dreams, and synchronicities. Kwan Yin has woven a subtle, pinkish-gold thread around all of it, like a faintly glinting spiral of tinsel that softly catches the light. Ganesha and Tara are the Christmas Lights, but Kwan Yin is the glow of the fireplace, the roar of the fire, the best parts of all of it.
Fuck. Kwan Yin SAVED CHRISTMAS! It hasn’t felt special in years. And… It does this year. I’m excited.
She has made herself very important to me of late, and I honor that. She’s earned a permanent place on my Altars.
I may have big plans, but she’s given me the right amount of light necessary for the inner fortitude it will take to carry out those plans. It’s good. I never knew how simple yet powerful she’d come on.
Thank you, Lady for giving me a lovely twinkling of lights in the darkness, showing that all is really better when motivated by love. It’s the glue that binds Good Order and Good Chaos, and the filter that weeds out the worst of Bad Order, and Bad Chaos.
This is good, new, and it feels really nice.
Lady… if you want it… I’m getting you the BIG statue.