She is petite with longish, thick, layered, slightly wavy auburn colored hair. It has a bit of wave to it, with a hint of unruliness, as she’d spent the afternoon rolling about in bed with some gloriously handsome and rich lover, and had tried to tame it down as much as possible. She wasn’t particularly successful, due to an adorable little cowlick near where she parts her hair. The hair was the first thing I noticed… It would take four people to try to braid the stuff, but you can tell that it would have it’s mind already made up, jetting in and out of the braided loops and aggravating even the most patient hairdresser. Her skin is fair and flawless, yet with a light sprinkling of the adorable freckles across the bridge of her nose, and under her eyes. She could probably put on some sunscreen so that they aren’t as visible, but she’s not really concerned with it. Her only beauty routine is getting that mass of red hair out of her face.
You don’t know what she’s going to do next, but she’s so utterly charming and engaging with her smirking and slightly snarky splendor that it doesn’t really matter.
She just laughs at any and all of your suggestions, and pulls at your hand. “C’mon! Like totally! C’mon… This is BORING. Let’s go do something fun! Fuck your schedule! Spark up the bong, puff-puff-pass it to ME, and let’s go make fun of stinky hippies at the Co-Op! Ohhhhhh! And we can go to the craft store! Oh… and we can totally see if there are still any skull beads left at the beadstore. Hmmmm… Let’s get some V8 and new wine glasses. Those things seem oddly important. OMG… LETS GET SOME FUCKING HAPPY MEALS FTW!!!! Ohhhhhh…. shiny!”.
That’s what it’s like to have Eris as your co-pilot. I may have taken my name after my patron goddess, but we are both easily distracted by random novelty…
That is Eris. I don’t normally get such a strong connection with the Greek pantheon, or with Eris. When I’ve gotten her before, she’s been dressed as a geisha wielding a baguette as a baton. This was a more natural more relaxed version of Eris. This was the Eris of Good Chaos… Still a bit of a wildcard, but tempered. Sweet yet still undeniably spicy. This came at just the right time. It’s hard to have your pattern for this life time be Chaos vs. Order, and have your patron goddess be Our Lady of Chaos herself.
Eris, the asteroid planet is undeniably strong in my astrological charts. An astrologer friend of mine remarked after doing my charts that he’d never seen a mere asteroid so strongly aspected in anyone’s chart before. Eris is one bad asteroid!
To seek Temperance, I have to rectify not just my relationship to Chaos but my work with Eris. It’s not that I need to let go of her, it’s more that I need to control her more. If I let Eris have free reign, shit gets mighty ugly mighty fast. I gave into my Erisian temperment yesterday… I had a seriously random emotional meltdown over a stupid expensive and fancy fucking cake at a stupid work party that no one touched. My every-thing-must-be-perfect OCD was crushed seeing that thing sit on the table uneaten. It triggered the Kallisti Beast. I had to leave. I felt hurt and like a failure. I gave in, and I shouldn’t have. This is what I’m talking about… A little Eris is good. Too much Eris is bad.
Again, it all comes down to Comfortable Control over Chaos.
For me, Eris is tempered by Kali and Tara. Kali is the life raft that keeps me from drowning in the abyss, and Tara lifts me up from it. Kali sometimes lets me sink if it’s a lesson I need to learn, but Ma is not unkind. Not at all. Lakshmi provides the abundance of warmth and comforts that distract me from Eris on the warpath. Saraswati quells the Erisian Madness with music, ideas, writing, creative projects, anything that stimulates my mind and brings me up a level or two. Durga protects me from the wicked, destructive side of Chaos. Kwan Yin reminds me that love and compassion is important, and that Eris can make me forget this at times. Compassion and love for others, and for myself. It all works together. Ganesh bobs along with an element of fun and frivolity that sidesteps nicely aside a dash of Good Chaos. I have tools at my disposal. Instead of letting Eris take center stage as she is wont to do with a born Erisian, my gods (even though they are separate) seem to help make the burden bearable.
I did not call Eris, but she was the first goddess who called me. Who captured me. She brought me the worst and best years of my life. Yet now I am at a point where I can truly say I am grateful for that, but that I also want peace.
Eris is not a goddess of peace.
The difference between me and a Discordian is simple. I find Discordianism amusing, and the underlying philosophy to be useful one. I just have little or no need for the bells and whistles since I do worship Eris eclectically, independently, and as a god. She is not an archetype. She is amongst the literal divine.
The gods I work with most are either Hindu or Buddhist. I seem to connect best to them, for whatever reason. I need them in order to be an Erisian and still have a peaceful and prosperous life.
It is really that simple. I don’t do rituals to Eris. I can’t let her have that much influence, because it is really quite dangerous for me to do so.
No… Instead, I incorporate a small shout-out to her into other rituals. I did a small ritual today to honor Lakshmi and Saraswati today, as it felt right to do so. Lakshmi doesn’t care what you wear, as long as you feel good. Saraswati, ever the mother of sophisticated and cultured choices, gave me a clear message that I should be fully dressed in an outfit that was classic with fashion-forward touches. For Eris, I got dressed in completely wrong order. Jack before bra? Check. Hairspray before underpants? Done. Scarf before shirt? Yep! One earring, put jeans on, then the other earring? Seriously. Sure, it’s a little bit Derelict, but it works. Our Lady of Chaos was happy with the outcome. All I did was just make an offering of some candles and pb&j. They were wanting some attention, and I’d been wanting a reason to change-up my alters. Rituals always involve prettying up my altars. They’re always changing. Another way to have a little bit of Eris without losing your mind.
Eris doesn’t get a permanent altar in my home anymore. No… It’s too much. Too big. To unruly. Nope… Instead, I have a small figurine that was sent to me in error when I tried order a Durga figurine from goddessgift.net. It was supposed to be of Diana, but it didn’t feel like Diana. It didn’t feel right to me. I don’t know why. Still, I ended up keeping her, and ordered another Durga later. I knew she was someone, but I didn’t know who. Persephone? Demeter? No. None of them felt right. Recently, I got it out again and realized who she was… She’d been trying to tell me from the get-go, just based on the random events that got her to my door. I never would have bought a Diana figurine, because she’s just not my goddess and I have zero connection to her. No… She’s my tiny little Eris. I’ll place her on or near altars, but these days I am making it a point to keep her near some of my more protective, buffering influences. It’s made a difference to be more mindful of her influence. (Yeah, I know the hard-as-nail polytheists will have a shit-snit-fit over this, but the statue just didn’t say Diana to me. I suppose it looked like her, but it just *wasn’t*. I go with my gut on this stuff. Right is right, and if it feels right to me, it usually is right. I make no apologies for doing things in the best way I can for *my* practice. I’m not advocating that *you* should turn a statue of one god the statue of another. In this case it worked and was right. It may not always be right to do so… So… back the truck up with the judgment, and kindly untwist your pentacle pantaloons should you find them bunching up your ass like a fist of cotton-poly-blended fury, eh Cabrón? Money talks. Bullshit walks. Eclectic Erisian Witchcraft ROCKS.)
It’s a hard road. Embracing CHAOS in all of it’s many guises is easy for me. Too easy. Yet finding comfortable ways of expressing order to have some consistency and progress is vital. Vital!
In doing all this… I actually got to see Eris at her best. Comfortable. Wickedly fun. Relaxed. Unhurried. Spritely. Cute. She’s very pixie-like and cute, like Tinkerbell on Tramadol. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
It’s not a breakthrough, but it’s a sign that I am taking the right steps. What I am seeing is accurate. I am on the right path. Mastery/Temperance will not occur until I can keep Our Lady of Chaos in check, and Our Lady of… Order? Whoever Eris’s counterpart of Order is, I don’t think I’ve met her yet. Saraswati is more concerned with philosophy, art, learning, music, and creative endeavors to be concerned with the Divine Order. She is part of it, a vital part of inspiring consciousness and wisdom itself, but not the source. No… Order is something else. Sophia? Maybe. I’ve only had a strong connection once or twice. It could be her. Maat? I don’t know. The Neteru are so far away to me these days. Isis who?
I have a strong inclination that Maat might be the opposing force to my Erisian predicament. Divine Order vs. Universal Chaos. If that’s not a push-pull, I don’t know what is. Perhaps the Neteru have faded into the periphery so I can figure this out. I need to know Eris (Universal Chaos) in order to know Divine Order (Maat). I only really know Maat through Anubis. I’ve only really gotten to know Eris through my work with the Hindu pantheon, oddly enough. Perhaps it’s more that I can get to know Eris if I have a League of Super Awesome God Friends to back me up.
Ganesh was my gateway to the Hindu Pantheon. Anubis was my gateway to the Neteru. Both are known in some functions to be the “opener of ways”. The Hindu pantheon is colorful, lively, noisy, and FULL OF LIFE(!!!). The more creative I get with it, and the more fun I have with it, the better experience I have. Even the tough parts are so much more vivid and real to me than any other work I’ve ever done. The Neteru, on the other hand, are more formal, more rigid, more structured. They don’t care for impromptu rituals with an Erisian touch thrown in. The Hindu pantheon seems to give me a lot of bang for my buck if I do a ritual on a whim.
Not that they’re all about Chaos, but they’re comfortable with it. They embrace it. They know that Order will come back around. They understand the pattern. The Neteru don’t have time for that, as they’re the ones doling out the thread. They have to be more deliberate. I’m not ready for them yet.
Persephone is something else. Something different. Whatever she wants from me, I’m still learning. She doesn’t seem to fit with the rest of it… Not in the way that Eris does. No, perhaps she is a lesson for another time. Perhaps she, with her predetermined destiny, she who dutifully follows her path without question… Perhaps she is some connection to Divine Order that I’ve yet to make.
So for now, I drink to the journey. Eris, my goddess, my patron, my sister, my friend… I honor your delightful sense of play and mischief with patience, love, and kindness. Walk softly. Carry a big schtick.
Holy is the gravy that floats your boat.
Sacred is the wind that blows your goat.
Blessed are the beans that don’t cause bloat
Delightful is the Kahlua that coats your throat.
Good Chaos & Good Drinks & Good Gods, et. al.
Now, pardon me while I get my Shiva-Shiva-Bhang-Bhang on. It’s 4:20 somewhere, and my fucked-up ligaments and nasty pinchy nerves are killing me.