Summer Solsticin’ It, Old School Style, Yo

Summer Solsticin’ It, Old School Style, Yo


So, erm… Happy solstice and shit, bitches!

Midsummer, Litha, Solstice… whatever you want to call it. I would probably just as happily call it Fred. I don’t always celebrate the spokes on Ye Olde Wheel De Los Yearos… Or did I mean gyros?

I’ve had a gyro before, and I can’t remember if I enjoyed it or not. I’ll take a guess and say it was alright, but it didn’t wow me, you know?

I get more into redoing my altars than I do the actual celebration part. This is the telltale sign of a noob who hasn’t been making altars for very long. The enthusigasm is infectious, no? No. You’re right, it’s really not. Nothing says Paganoob™ more than constant altar mixing n’ matching, and the horridly incessant glee over doing so. I’ve been Pagan for a long time, but it’s really only been in the last three years that I’ve gotten past the Philosophuckery No Fly Zone. Up until that point, I was here, and now after a bit of a sea change and exploration further upshore, I am now HERE! Ideally I’d like to get THERE(!!!!!) so I can get IT(!!!!!!!!). I don’t think anyone really gets It, so why not relax and…

Shit. That was weird.

My crown chakra is going ninja-monkey-ass crazy right now. No idea why that’s happening. None at all.

I’m sure it’s all Richard Simmons’ fault. He is the Anti-Crunk.

I don’t get it either… Bastards. I see what you did there, Big Divine. I don’t think we’re ready to get It, unless It is an iPhone, in which case I’ll be getting mine in just a few short weeks. Yay me! Good jobs, Steve!

I put together just a little something for the solstice, including a further “Getting To Know You” with Tarot Nusantara, whom I shall be calling Nutsy Tara. She’s warmed up a bit, after being kind of a pain in the ass. It’s just very anxious to give you a quick answer with no context. “BAM! There it is, now leave me alone you wanker.” It has an energy unlike any deck I’ve ever used. The cards are a bit bendy like they’ve been lovingly shuffled many times, which usually bothers me. With Nutsy Tara, it’s not an issue. The cards have a snap to them, and a bit of a bite! They seem to come flying out of the deck, or are bent just enough so they jump right out of it. I’ve never had a deck that bouncy or impatient! It seems to be quite frank with me. It pulls no punches, and has deadly swordy accuracy. It has all of Thoth’s energy, and none of its darkly perverse humor. “BAM! Here it is! You’re welcome, bitch!” is its battle cry. I am not going to mess with this deck. I didn’t expect it to be such a ball-busting badass with me. None of this is bad… Sometimes you need to hear it how it is, regardless of how you think it should be. Nutsy Tara represents! I bet she has prison tattoos… Sugar coating? This ain’t no damn Illuminated! Earthy? Nope. The World Spirit Deck is not home. Quirky? Well… Maybe Nutsy T has a quirky side, but I have yet to meet it. Stylish? It’s got a lot better fashion sense than even the Vanessa Tarot, but with a punk rock past I am certain. Energetic? It trumps Thoth! Snappy? Girl, you know it!

I have to be nice to it. I have a feeling that it will give me papercuts if I don’t.
It seemed a lot more comfortable with me yesterday, a bit softer. It’s weird… I’ve never had a deck this challenging that I liked so much. I just want it to like me! Yesterday, it seemed a lot friendlier. Maybe we should talk? Yes. Lets.

So… Nusty Tara… How are you feeling about working with me now that you’ve had some time to settle in?
Judgment
Glad to see you’re feeling better about being here. That’s quite a dramatic change. I’d almost say that you might enjoy working with me, or you’ve left the past behind and are ready to move forward in the most positive way. I think you do like me… it was just a bit rough on you initially. We don’t even speak the same language, really.
When should I turn to you for help?
The Hanged Man
When I’m contemplating something, but it’s not an emergency or an immediate crisis. Issues that I’ve been pondering or musing about, but not anything too serious. The more philosophical questions leisurely people have the time to ask. You’ve been impatient with me before, but perhaps I was the one being impatient with you. Maybe you’re just a sensitive deck.

How can we best work together?
2 of Cups / 4 of Wands
Ahhhhhh… As partners. We each bring something to the card table, don’t we? I know that you’re deadly accurate, but as we learn to work together, I believe our shared strengths will make our readings together kick some ass. Right now, we’re in the getting to know you stage. Sparks are flying aren’t they? I think you needed a bit of a welcoming ceremony to ease you into things, and unlike the 4 of Wands, I did not do a very good job. You like a bit of ceremony and ritual, I think? Well, no problem! Any excuse to re-do my altars… again…

What’s changed between now and before?
The Hierophant / 7 of Wands
I got it… You were feeling disorganized and confused by everything, and it put you on the defensive. The Hierophant enjoys elaborate rituals for the sake of the ceremony involved. I am starting to see that you seem to be at your best when used in this way, either as part of a pre-ritual divination or as part of the ritual itself. You’re not just a pretty and colorful deck with lovely art! You’re a bit swordy when out of your element! You’re… sort of mirroring some of my own personality traits! I get seriously wigged when people bombard me in a really intense way in a social setting. I think I came on too strong. I’m glad we got this sorted out.

What should I be careful about when we work together?
10 of Wands
Uh… yeah. Seriously. You’re the most energetic deck I’ve ever used. We’ve both got to take care when working together. Your readings are meanspirited when you’re overwhelmed or tired. My readings suck ass when I am energetically drained. Probably best to keep Temperance in mind, eh?

Are there any areas you particularly like to answer on for divination?
The Emperor/ The Moon / Ace of Pents / 8 of Pents
Okay… I got it. Bosses. Baby-daddies. Work. Money. Finances. Home. Traditional structures. Yet… you roll with the mysteries too. The moon particularly stands out here. I see it as the deeper part of what you can offer as a deck. There is simply more here than the MunDanish stuff I suspect you’d answer quite aptly. There is more mysterious and shadowy layer. A veil?
Am I right, or am I on crack?
9 of Cups
“Whatever you wish.”
Nice one, Nutsy Tara… I think I’ll take that as cue to shuffle off. You’re alright kid, you’re alright!
So… erm… Happy Solstice! Have a gyro!
Fuck… Have two!
It’s for god and country, bitches! Or… god(s) and the municipality of your choice, regardless of where reside.
I choose Amsterdam! FOR AMSTERDAM!
Hail Eris, full of gold booty-shorts… Golf and badminton aren’t really sports!
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2 thoughts on “Summer Solsticin’ It, Old School Style, Yo

  1. You’re the one who called mine United States of Tara first, and now you’ve got her HA HA HA!! It seems they share a hive mind and word spread 😀 Funny though, because mine is definitely male. I like how Tara seems to reflect your personality; she’s definitely stylish enough to qualify!

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