The Magic is in the Maybe

The Magic is in the Maybe


I don’t know if my Amazing Adventures in Shaman-Land are worth sharing, but as a process I know I’ve found it to be an integral part of my practice. That being said… it’s not really that hard for me. I just need to trick my mind into getting into an Altered State of Awesomeness, whether through guided or regular meditation, pathworking, or… well… herbal enhancements. Whatever flips the switch, I’ll try it. Meditation is a difficult way to do it. It takes a lot to empty my mind to the point where the process just sort of happens. I don’t like to force it. I don’t tend to get any good stuff that way. I like to let things unravel. What up, Gods n’ Guides… Suprise me! I can listen to a guided meditation a couple of times before it stops working. I can listen to Tibetan singing bowls, or Astral Crystal Rainstorm Bells of Nature or some shit like that, and sometimes the switch is flipped, and I snap into Trance Pants mode. There is a 25% chance I’ll get some of the Good Gods n’ Guides stuff. There is a 25% chance that I will not be able to shut off my mind and flow with the waters. 50% of the time? I fall dead asleep. It’s not that great of process, and I’ve felt rested but ultimately disappointed many times. I’ve had such profound events occur in Snappy Trance states that I can’t help but hope.

Pathworking also works. It’s more focused than just letting it happen. I set the scene, but there is a grey area where I stop doing the work, and the Shamanic Weirdyness takes over. I wouldn’t say I get better results than meditation for me, in regards to journeying. For me, the nice thing about pathworking is that I can build a familiar landscape, which might yieled some “safe places”. I can retrace my steps much easier if I’ve been to a place before. It can be more of an ancor. Using tarot as a gateway or a window is the perfect starting point. Cranial Sacral work often gets me to the drifty point where I might go on a trip, but I seem to hover inbetween those two places rather than going anywhere. The gears don’t shift, but the engine idles.

The best journeys or communication (I guess you could call it that…) happen Under the Influence of… erm… well… you know. Smoky somethings. With the way my brain happens to be wired, it takes all of the work out of it. The Erisian in me likes the surprise. I don’t even know if focused journeying would even work for me. Most of the times I’ve tried to make things happen, they inevitably don’t.

Perhaps the magic is in the maybe.

The most profound experiences I’ve had to date have been in a Smokey State of Amazing Grace. The drawbacks are that I use that method a lot more often that I’d like. The perks are that the results are MIND BOTTLING. I don’t think it’s this way for everyone, but for this little chicken it does the trick just right. I circumvent the difficult parts. The visuals are more crisp. More clear. I can evoke the feeling and flavor of a place based on the color of the light (maybe there is a little synesthete in me after all?). I have no interest in entheogens. My brain is far too happy to make crazy trips to lands unseen, and far too visually oriented for that to be a good idea. I usually stand on a precipice between the earthly world and Somewhere Else Entirely. Somewhere Else is a place that I can’t handle in this life. I know that. I rely on my earthly ancors to keep me from drifting too far astray. It’s simply safer this way, and I have a good inclination of how far I can go.

Pragmatic Shamanism, bitches! Recognize!

Yesterday I was in a good bit of pain, so I indulged. That’s not normal for me on a weekday. I didn’t expect or ask for anything. I just wanted my shoulder to stop hurting. Well…

Traisping into Shaman-Land? Check. Accidental Evocation? Check. Saraswati? Cha-cha-check! It was very cool… I was allowed access to White Tara through Saraswati, piercing the veil in a bold, bright, clean, white, light, crisp burst of clouds. I’ve never had much communication with White Tara, and it was very brief. Piercing the veil through Saraswati was the only way for me to have that momentary access. It was like a soft but bright bolt of knowledge, and compassion. Loving, yet snapping in the wind like clean white sheets hung on a line to dry. No darkness… only light. Makes your heart engulf with pink, orange, ivory, and slowly back to white. It was a hiccup along the way.

Why are all goddesses of knowledge so… well… BRIGHT? They have different colors to me, but all show up when I get them in MEGA-WATT ILLUMINATED BRILLIANCE, like a tinted light bulb. Athena? Green. Sophia? Orange and gold. Maat? Red. Saraswati? Gold, white, and blue. Crazy? Yes. Probably. I can’t help it. The honey, the power, the light! (My favorite Golden Shoulders song… Very appropriate in this case)

I also did some preliminary work with Special K. I am slowly seeing some areas where coming to know her is more comforting than frightening. She is still fierce, but I didn’t get sick this time. I saw a more compassionate and loving aspect. I’m looking forward to letting this unravel itself, with the right amount of reverence and fear. Bright eyes piercing through infinite darkness… It’s a terrifying image. I am not comfortable with it. But… comfort is not her intention.

It wasn’t a journey, in as much as I had few visuals. Just light and a sense of color. Still… it was pretty cool. Cool enough for me to remember, anways. It’s not a place I can travel to very often, but when I do and can… it’s always worth it in immeasuable ways. It’s what’s made the rest of this craziness make some sense. Crazy on top of crazy? It may not be rational or logical at all, but not everything in our Elegant Universe is. I don’t want to fight it with my mind when I can explore it with that same mind.

BRING. IT. ON!!!!!!

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2 thoughts on “The Magic is in the Maybe

  1. When I read these entries, I feel like an 8th grader who’s somehow been let into the inner circle by some really cool 12th grade chick with funky hair and brains to match. It’s awesome! (And a bit jelz-making, because it sounds so coooooool.) I can’t add anything to the conversation, but I’ll sit there quietly and not get in the way 🙂

  2. I’ve never been that cool… but… it’s nice to feel that way every once in a while. ^_^

    Besides, what good is madness if you can’t share it with your friends on teh intarnets?

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