So, this all will sound like I am INSANE in the MEMBRANE (insane in the brain!), unless you’re agreeable to such things as gods, channeling, and other cuh-razy stuff. Some people just aren’t, and I still feel vestigial twinges of weirdy-guilt for being so irrational. Yet… these things make sense to me. I suppose they wouldn’t happen, unless I could take them. I’m fairly tough. Walk softly and carry a BIG WAND! Still, part of my journey is coming to terms with these things. I am not wired to be a Christmas & Easter & Weddings & Funerals Protestant like most of my family, or a Bible Thumpin’ Jesus Jumpin’ Evangelical. Buddhism? Useful, but not enough sparkle. I am wired for weird. I know this. I can’t feel too bad about it, or beat myself up over it. The Queen of Wands is realistic, but embraces it with humor, wit, and makes it look good on paper. That I can do. I want to believe… so… I will not feel bad for feeling crazy. Maybe crazy is good… HAIL ERIS!
So… Evocation, anyone?
I don’t really try to invoke. I’m more of an evoking kind of gal. There is a difference to be sure. When the more reasonable and sensible parts of my soul morphs into Miss Practical Polly Pentacle Pants, we go with what is the most reliable and safe. Evocation, of course! All the cool deities are doing it! For siriouz realz, yo. I don’t ask for it to happen, but it happens randomly when the Gods Squad has something to say. In my High Priestess element, I look and I listen. I take heed. I accept. I invite. In my Hierophanty Pantaloons, I unravel. I seek. I put the pieces in place to make the patterns. In my Erisian element, I let it happen as it happens, so it happens in strange ways and in strange places. Outside of the grocery store? Hellllloooooooo Sophia! On the freeway on the way to work? Hail Eris! Ganesh often gets to me in retail establishments, not sure why. Special K comes on in mornings, bringing her Wave of Mutilation and nausea. Persephone is always linked to the seasons. In winter, she is a ghost, and I will hear nothing. In spring, she comes alive. In summer, she drifts in and out. In fall, she begins to increase in strength. Still, I don’t ask for these things to happen. I more or less invite them with an Open Door Deity Policy. “If we’ve worked together, or you’re trying to get my attention and it seems like a good fit, I don’t mind hearing from you again. Tell your friends. Unless they’re dicks.”
I can’t quite describe what an Accidental Evocation is like. How can you describe the voice of a god to someone who has never heard it? How can you explain it without sounding crazy? And I know it sounds crazy. When this shit started happening to me a few years ago, especially the “getting to know you” hint-dropping and synchonicities a la Isis. Girrrrrrl… where you been? Maat and Anubis are cool, but you’ve been so quiet! But then again, you always were. I’m more comfortable in my own skin now than I used to be. I am okay with my polytheism although it freaked me out at first. “This isn’t reasonable! This isn’t rational!”. To which Our Lady of Chaos responded “Grow a pair, get a life, wear a kimono, and fill your office with oranges! Yeah! Yeah! Do it! HAM! OH GOD I HATE HAM… but I love monkeys you know.” So… I did. I recognize the “getting to know you” more now. I’ve been getting a lot of Sarasvati lately, which I find rather nice. I like her. The Hindu pantheon is really taking a liking to me over the last 6 months. Don’t cry for me Egypt… I’ll be back some day!
Yesterday, it was one of those glorious partly cloudy days where a storm was passing through, and the clouds were burning off. We had to drive to Oakland and back (that shit sucks), and the sky was amazing. I kept getting some serious stuff from some unnamed Water/Creator Goddess. Unreal. some serious feminine divine type of energy. Strong, bold, watery, starry with a shit ton of… arms? Tentacles? Holy freak me the fuck out, batman! Very trippy, a little cosmic. Not earthy at all. It was like she tore open my ribcage and shot a bullet right into my heart chakra. She was blue and gold, and everywhere. She told me that water was life. (True… liquid water is thought to be the neccessary element in creating a planet with an environment conducive to life as we know it). Water is love. Water is EVERYTHING. Blue is water. Blue is clarity. There is no life without blue. It was pretty amazing. I’m not really sure what it was, but I plan to find out. Some type of cosmic water is often associated with creator goddesses, so this is important. The gold was more like sunlight, but it was not a rich, deep, warm color. It was vibrant and warm, yet clear. Cool. Starlight. It was as if delicate streams of gold met with the water, to produce a lens of the utmost clarity. The water brings life and love, but the gold brings wisdom and clarity and creativity. I felt like my head was split open, just like billowing dark storm clouds. It came together harmoniously, and She just wanted me to see where these things fit. (Research… Saraswati? Maybe. Something else? Maybe. “UGH!” and “Yay!”)
That, is an Accidental Evocation. Dude… I was in the car drinking a mocha, listening to the Misfits. I wasn’t exactly asking for it.
For me, Accidental Evocation (once I kind of know a God, and have worked with them a bit) goes like this. You know the snap you get in your brain when you suddenly have a great idea, or you finally “get it”. An “ah-ha! moment”, to use an Oprah-ism, or a “EUREKA!” moment? It’s like the space between not knowing and the sudden realization, but it stretches out longer in time. It feels like a conduit opens up between yourself and the divine (maybe it’s different for others… I am kind of weird), and my crown and brow chakras spring wide open. There are no lightening bolts, but I sense an energy rather than a presence. I’ll usually get some weird garbled communication. It’s usually over within a few seconds. Happens… BAM! Then… DONE!
Sometimes I’ll get something similar during a pathworking session or a dream, but there is a visual element that I don’t experience during an AE. I’ll “see” a presence, but I think that it just must be easier. I don’t typically try to evoke, because it just doesn’t work for me often. I never really learn much from it. Asking Ganesha for a little help with the start of a new project is more like a prayer or petition how I approach it. I suppose that’s a bit more like a regular evocation. It’s never as good. It’s as if they have better stuff for you if you let them come to you. I approach AE as a process that yields the answers to questions I didn’t even know I had. You’re essentially asking the Gods & Friends to be a part of whatever you’re doing. Or… letting them know that if they have anything to share with you, that you’re open to it. I embrace the random. I AM ERISIAN… HEAR ME SNORE!
Is evocation, accidental or otherwise, useful? Can I get a “HELLS YES!”? HELLS YES!
I’ve only had an Accidental Invocation twice. It was scary as fuck. I know that people like to initiate the process for themselves, but it’s a bit too intense for me. I also had one of those yesterday. Holy Mother of Truckers! It’s like The Powers That Be Powerful & Stuff were making up for lost time. I can handle one Divine Bolt From The Blue every now and again, but an AE and an AI IN ONE DAY??!!!? Who are you people kidding… Maybe I really am crazy. I’ll probably discuss invocation at another point. I’m just not quite up for the challenge and… well… Big Love is on. Ohhhhhhhh! Tarot study with Bill Hendricks and his wives! ZOMG! That was Accidental Awesome!