Jebus H. Monkey Spelunking Christ… I *can* READ!!!

Jebus H. Monkey Spelunking Christ… I *can* READ!!!


I haven’t done one of these in a while… My three-card draw to see what kind of day tomorrow is going to be turned into a nine-cardy-headed beastie! Actually… it’s erm… Eleven. Some days you need to throw it down, son! Eeek… Erisianism + Medicated Goodness + Tarot= HOLY BAD IDEA, BATMAN! Well… fuck it. Here we are. This is Honesty Tarot. I really thought I couldn’t read while… “medicated”. I don’t… erm… “medicate” often. Just on Sundays. BONG HITS FOR JESUS! I guess that’s better than DONG HITS FOR JESUS. That would probably hurt the poor fella… So, I would like to prove myself thusly wrong, without seeming like someone who wears pots and pans on their head. Who would do that? I certainly wouldn’t. I’m not one of *those* people. I am the kind of person who listens to the Misfits before meetings so that she can be properly ready to shout “I AIN’T NO GODDAMN SON OF A BITCH! YOU BETTER THINK ABOUT IT, BABY!” to her superiors. But not for real. Just for pretend. I ain’t no goddamn sonofabitch, although I am the daughter of one.

I also think that Boxxy is a Discordian Prophet. I can say this because I am a Discordian Pope, and so are you. This is not relevant to the discussion, but it’s my Tarot Blog & Erisianistic Glee, and I may tarot as I please! HMMMPH!


Okay… The general outlook of the day… (All the cards are very YELLOW. YELLOW means a happy color.)
Nine of Cups. 9 of Pents. 4 of Wands.

Nice to see you kids again! So, again, I suspect a chance to rise to the occasion, with grace, tact, skill, and inner-strength that comes through experience. I’m going to be the appearance of calm, and gentillity! Yeah… I know. Me. Whatever. I will not have to use my AK, I must certainly say it was a good day! We’re going to be overflowing with happy and good. HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY- AHOY! Sweet. I don’t think you could ask for better, really. Especially on a Monday. I don’t see good news, just good all around. I also see me savoring it and appreciating it. Ay, Papi. Ay dos mios! I may also feel good about my new pills… So far so good. I EVEN HOPPED ON THE WII FIT TODAY! A miracle, of miracles, worthy of a knowing nod from Ms. 9 of Pents.

General Influences…
Five of Wands. The Magician. 2 of Pents.

Okay… I am thinking there might be a little bit of squabbling at work, but it doesn’t have anything to do with me. Someone with a bit of power is going to step in and work their mojo to fix things. A very crafty person. I am not directly involved, but may be able to look at both sides. I may also have some options as a result. Choices. No matter which one I make, they are both good. This idea of a choice is backed up by my next draw for what I can do… I wonder if I am going to have to work with Surfer-Rob Corrdry or Handsome Dan- The Ugly Profile Man or Bill Maher’s Twin Brother-from-Anotha-Motha. What? Handsome Dan gives me a Magicianesque vibe. He’s kind of a pretty-boy, but has a scene beard to dirty himself up a bit. A SCENE BEARD! Surferob (like Surferosa!) is a douche. Bill Maher, BM, strikes me as a weasely cheezer. Handsome Dan seems less douchey, and exudes The Magician’s confidence, far better than the other Salesfucks. Hell, if I am going to get assigned to a new Salesfuck, I’d rather get the least douchey of the three or six, even though his profile looks like Nos-fucking-feratu. Seriously. The Douche is Loose. Sea-Plane is cool… Not douchey at all. Not Magiciany either. I like Sea-Plane… Sea-Plane! Sea-Plane! I couldn’t say that to his face though. And Captain Sunshine, the Lamp Thieving TOOL… Ugh. Maybe I get some choice in who I am covering? I’m in such a weird limbo right now, it would be nice to know. Enough shop talk. I just bored myself.

Hi. My internets name is Eris Hilton. I am am eclectic pagan, Erisian, non-wiccan witch, who is mad about  squees, being fabulous, the tarot, mysticism, magick, the occult, nature, philosophuckery on spirituality and religion, and thinking that she knows allllllllllll about quantum physics while getting baked and listening to really tragically obscure indie bands. (Bats for Lashes is excellent tarot music, btw. Like Dead Can Dance, but more unintentionally goddessy). I work with douche bags. Douche bags are everywhere, and make their way into the glorious goodness of my Tarot Time. OUT DAMNED DOUCHE! OUT, I SAY!

So, what can I do about that? (The General influences, not the Douchebags. There is no known cure for Douche Syndrome)
The Lovers. 8 of Cups.  Ace of Cups. Empress.

A choice is implied here. We’re tipping our hat to the 2 of Pents for that one. But again, it is a good choice. I wonder if the back and forth does have something to do with me… I wonder if I am switching offices, and will find out more tomorrow? I don’t want to switch offices! I like my peeps! It looks like with something, I will get to choose something. One implies leaving behind one situation, one of comfort and security for one that is overflowing with possibilities. The Ace of Cups and the Empress… GAH! If this wasn’t a work question, I’d have to wonder about babbys. Bleh. No babbys. I see a great deal of love, and a great deal of fresh new opportunity. Overflowing with blessings… Damn, when I’m good I’m good!

I wonder what this means… I am not seeing the context as clearly as I’d like to. One piece is missing, but I will say it would be under normal circumstances as well.

What else do I need to know?

10 of Wands.

I need not to stress out about it. It would create more pressure than is called for. And it is about work, and my stress. Okay, this is good. Really… well… good.

Now, it’s time to go listen to music, come up with profound ideas regarding the Mysteries of the Universe, and promptly forget them. I can read while… Medicatin’ for Satan. Hey… If I were ever going to open up a cannabis club for mental patients and their families, that’s what I would call it. Schiziophrenics need not apply. They smell like doody. I can read in such a state afterall. It’s not really different from normal. The answers come quicker and easier, but with more background noise.

Yeah, so it goes… Make Statement. Music. Ideas. Forgetting. Trying to Bring Things Back Around. Hail Eris in Rambling Nonsensical Prose. Have Snack. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Buy Commemorative Plates. Rinse Again.

Tomorrow! To Infinity and… Um… Those Other Guys!

HAIL ERIS FULL OF HAIRY APES… MY FACE LIKES FERMENTED GRAPES, FNORD!

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4 thoughts on “Jebus H. Monkey Spelunking Christ… I *can* READ!!!

  1. p.s. Investigated Bat for Lashes. Several songs really hit home (Horse and I & What’s a Girl To Do? especially). Sometimes she really reminds me of Sinead, other times it’s Siouxsie, but she’s not derivative.

  2. I mostly like how richly textured her songs are… It’s not my usual thing, but it seems to snap my brain into tarot mode well.

    Which is probably a good thing… I am oft embarrassed by the music that works for my metaphuckery.

    Sadly, Lady GaGa snaps me into magick mode. Maybe because it’s mindless and encourages the mindless state I need to be more mindful?

    GAH!!!

    1. Ra-Ra-Ra-Aaaaah
      Roma-Ro-Ma-Maaaah
      Ga-Ga-Ooh-La-Laaaah…

      I mean, I have no idea what you’re talking about ::whistle::

      In the perfect world inside my head, she really _is_ that fucking nuts, and not just another product of the Illuminati conspiracy 😉

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