I’m finding that of all my decks, Jolanda really lends herself well to free form, intuitive type of reads. No spread. Just spark up a conversation with her, flip some cards, and let her go to it. It’s not my usual way of reading if I have a specific issue, but I find it’s an interesting way to approach things if I am trying to think something through, or brainstorm. Jolanda has just the right attitude for such a process. It’s not unlike doing a deck interview. It’s like asking for advice over a cup of coffee with a girlfriend.
I’m calling it the Coffee Talk spread, which is really not a spread at all. Ask-Pull Card-Comment/Ask- Pull Card, etc.
So… Why can’t I seem to get myself motivated today?
3 of Swords
Ha-Ha… Very funny, Captain Sarcastic. I think you’re trying to accuse me of being a drama queen. I’m not whining about it or anything, or feeling particularly bad about anything. You know that… C’mon… give me some ideas. I can’t figure out why I can’t get up off my ass today…
10 of Cups
Again with the sarcasm… “Every thing’s wonderful! Everything’s peachy! Happy-Happy-Joy-Joy! Tra-la-la-la-la!” You’re smirking at me. Again. I can totally tell. Sooooo… if you won’t tell me why, then HOW can I get motivated? Hmmm, Miss Sassy Pants?
Ace of Wands
Well… duh. Helloooooo Obvious! It would be nice to be all uber-motivated, zipping around with enthusiasm, fervor, and energetic glee. That’s what I want, of course. I have a closet to clean out… What am I supposed to do with the Ace of Wands? Meditate on it?
I’ll take that as a yes. Anything else fun that I should throw in the mix?
Hmmmm… This is interesting. I could see this working to my advantage. The Tower is more or less the Eris card, or one of her aspects. That’s often how it seems to come up for me. I could use a little bit of that wickedly delightful Erisean madness. It does seem to motivate me at times… Good call, Jolanda! I hadn’t thought of that.
Two of Swords
Yeah, I know. It would be silly to sit here, continuing to accomplish nothing. If I don’t do something to shake things up, I’m going to sit on the couch all day, looking at dichroic glass jewelry. You’ve gotta admit… A lot of it is really pretty. What do you think of that pretty Tree of Life necklace I bought? I’m thinking it could be pretty and useful for grounding. The image is almost exactly what I imagine when doing that grounding exercise with the roots in the earth, blah, blah, blah.
6 of Pentacles
Agreed. I think it’s good to give back by buying handmade directly from the artists. As a creative, I feel like I’m doing my part in supporting excellent craftsmanship. Anything else you’d recommend for me to think about today?
Four of Wands
Yes, I will definitely plan something fun for tonight. I’m definitely having a glass or wine or something. I don’t really feel like going out though, and the man is on a health kick. Should I just stay in?
9 of Wands
Got it. Once I get my ass in gear, I’ll probably be be tired when I’m done. The closet! It is… FRIGHTENING. So, I’m going to have to really push myself to stay motivated, and that might be nicely followed up by a fermented beverage and a book, yes?
2 of Cups
Oh, yeah. I won’t forget about him. We’ll probably hang out and watch a movie or something. You’ve been a real sweetheart this time around, even if you were a bit sassy at first. Do you enjoy these kinds of spreads as much as I do?
4 of Pentacles
You want to keep them all for yourself, eh? I don’t really do these with any other deck. Don’t tell me your jealous of those other guys…
10 of Swords
Whose being the drama queen now, Princess? Hmmmm? Tomorrow is another day, Scarlett O’Hara! You’ll never go hungry again!
Two of Pentacles
I gotcha. It does seem to balance out. That’s why you’re one of my featured players. I mix it up, and I don’t think any deck I truly love really gets left out. Thanks for all of your help… As always, it’s been fun.
It is time to go, Miss Sassy Thang. Well… thank you for your permission to end this reading. Sooooooo glad you took the time to absolve me of my sins or whatevers. Those trumpets really suit you… You either like to point out the obvious with a smirk, ham it up with over the top ironic drama geek flair, or could out Fierce Tyra. Nice, and nicely done, Madam!