Inca Medicine Wheel Spread
Looking at some spiritual stuff I’ve been wrestling with lately. Part of me isn’t ready to grapple with the deeper issues, but other parts of me are ready to make that journey. I’m not sure how I feel about it. The Gods are telling me things, and I’m not sure if I want to listen. I’m using the pocket-sized Universal Rider Waite that I just picked up yesterday. It’s a small enough deck to toss in a handbag and take anywhere, so I thought I’d test it with a big, bad, beefy question. It seems to have a good attitude, and a “Well, duh!” sense of annoyance towards me when questioning it’s abilities. It’s likely to be a non-nonsense kind of a deck. I call that a keeper!
1/South- What You Need to Leave Behind or Release
The Hanged Man
Hmmm… Of course. This deck is rather cheeky, isn’t it? I’m in a good place, spiritually. I’ve finally been able to leave a lot of my doubts behind, and forge ahead on the path I’m on with a great deal more confidence and ease. I’ve rectified being a polytheist, in a manner. That was really hard for me. It was hard to say, perhaps Gods are more than archetypes. Perhaps there is some kind of presence. It’s not been an easy task, nor have the Gods been particularly gentle. I wouldn’t have doubted to see the Fool here, but I think there is more a theme of familiarity than newness. I am letting go of the self-doubt that’s been limiting me. No, I’m not crazy. It’s okay that I see the world differently. The closer I look at what is there, the more underlying truth I see. It comes when I least expect it, and I feel that I am starting to understand some of the messages that I’ve received. I’m tired of tearing it all down, and trying to make it fit into logical boxes. It’s doesn’t. Spiritual matters often don’t play on the same field as logic. It’s like trying to play foot ball using a baseball mitt. It does not fit, and if you try and force it, both lose something of themselves in the process. I’m done with that. Things are changing for me, but the journey will not be a Fool’s Journey. It is more inward. Reflective. Whatever the gods are trying to tell me, I am at a place where I can let go enough to truly listen. There is meaning in the translation, and all I can do is abandon myself to the experience. The Hanged Man seeks to know, so he waits and listens.
2/West- What You Must Confront:
Four of Cups
I think for me, this pertains to the inner world. I’ve been having some pretty profound experiences lately when doing some pathworking. It happens rather spontaneously. Physically, if my body is feeling a bit off and I lay down, I’ve been snapping into some kind of trance state. I know… crazy, right? It’s been doing it a lot more lately, especially over the last few months. I’ve actually been bothering to do a bit of work with The High Priestess archetype during the full moon. It’s seemed to have made a difference, but I’m much more confused. The Four of Cups shows a disconnect for me, I think, between the Earthly world and the Etheric one. There are some profound possabilties there (they’re trying to show me!), and again I could be too mired in the material world to see them or implement them. Something new is being presented, and it’s something that I think may be difficult or painful. It yields good things. I need to get past it… I’m wondering if there are some big hurdles for me to jump.
3/North- What You Need to Know
10 of Swords
It will be painful! Fuck. I knew it. But, I’m seeing the number 10, even though it will hurt, the pain will not last forever. In fact, we’ll be tipping our hats at the Hanged Man, and the Four of Cups soon enough. I feel as if some kind of wounds will be repaired, and if anything I will emerge restored in some way. Most of the work I’ve been doing, or that which I find myself drifting into seems to have an undercurrent of Shamanic death/rebirth. I guess that explains why Anubis can’t seem to stay away.
I recently saw what I think might be Persephone’s face as Queen of the Underworld.
It’s not a very comfortable thing to talk about. And Kali. I also saw Kali. It was not good for me, or at least it wasn’t anything but completely frightening. I’m not able to talk about it much, but if there is more of this, I’m not looking forward to it, but I suppose it must be necessary.
Either way, I’m fucked. Might as well go down with a bang, 10 of Swords style.
4/East- What You Attain:
No explanation needed. I think this confirms that I’m on the right path. It’s worth it. Time to watch, and listen… and talk to Ganesh. He always makes me feel better.