Me & My Constant Reminders

Me & My Constant Reminders

I recently got myself one of these.

The High Priestess is a commonly recurring theme for me, especially over the last few years. I’ve noticed that through the years, whatever the predominate theme in my life is, I seem to constantly pull the same cards that correspond to where I’m at over and over again. Of course, I’m not going to ignore this. How could I? Whatever the Divine, or The Great WTF (as I like to call them) are trying to tell me, I might as well do my best to try listen (even if I don’t exactly “get” what the Hades they’re trying to tell me). The Priestess always shows up when my spreads address The Big Picture or The Big Issues. If I read for myself, have someone else read for me, or pay a professional, the High Priestess routinely enjoys popping by. A Constant Reminder of where I’m at at this very moment…

When I was in design school, The Empress in her most glorious Creatrix aspect was a constant for me. If anything, her energy brought something amazing to the creative process that I just couldn’t shake or ignore. If I read, and honestly, I didn’t read much at all during that time, she appeared crown blazing and sheaves of wheat blowing in the breeze. Whenever I got stuck on an illustration project, in her I had the perfect muse. I actually did three different illustrations of her, perched upon her thrown of shining abubdance. Even now, when I look back on it, these are some of my favorite pieces even if they aren’t my best work. There is something special about them that has everything to do with the act of creating them. Rather than being all that is motherly, feminine, beautiful, and nurturing, she is more real to me in how her energy gives one’s creations, artistic or otherwise, a little jolt of divine life. I don’t see her often anymore, and I rather miss her.

That was a great time in my life, both spiritually and creatively. While I’d dappled in tarot,    the metaphysical realm, and a bit of witchcraft before design school, I pretty much stopped having an interest in it as soon as I started. Design became my religion. I don’t say that lightly, and anyone who knows me knows it’s true. I ceased any type of magickal work or study of mysticism that I was doing, not really consciously. It was as if my brain shut off the valve to the Mystical World, and unleashed the floodgates of the Creative World. In my brain, apparently there is no room for both.

For a few years there, when I had to take a job I loathed just to pay the bills, The Star became my Constant Reminder. I hadn’t so much as picked up a deck for a number of years, and as I slowly jumped back into it, she stopped by often. It was a very difficult time for me. I wasn’t able to find a job in the design industry, a discipline that in some ways is my life’s work and my greatest joy. Instead, I went the corporate route in order to eat and begin paying my student loans back. It was a dismal time, where I spent a great deal of time and energy lamenting my choice, yet feeling as if I had no choice at all. I define myself through my work or my vocation, so it was just as much an existential crisis as it was a financial one. “Who am I? How did I let myself get here? Did I even have a choice?” I routinely came back to the idea that I needed to be where I was for a reason. I couldn’t shake it, but it was as if someone was trying to tell me that this phase was an important one, and although it was painful, there was hope and that I should not give up. I understand now what she was trying to tell me.

I was so confounded by the fact that she showed up in almost every single reading I did for myself. I was frustrated by my perceived tarotardedness. I felt like I’d never be able to read without a book, but even the books I had didn’t answer her constant presence. While my job situation did improve slightly, I came across a newly opened metaphysical shop that also did tarot reading and classes. I hadn’t done a magickal working in years or ventured into a witchy shop, but I was curious. I thought I’d see if The Star showed up again, and if perhaps a professional would be able to tell me what the deal was.

And she did. And the Mystical Floodgates opened back up in a big way. It was like someone (the High Priestess) conked me on the head with a mallet. “You have work to do. You need to make up for lost time.” I’ve picked up where I left off, spiritually, and have figured out a few things that I never could have forseen when I was younger. This is good. I’m always learning. The Mysteries are mysterious!

The Star had been there, through the darkest hours, shining her subtle to the point of dimness yet softly shining light, glimmering on the water. A gentle reminder that even though it was dark, all hope was not lost. She was there so that I could hold her hand, persisting through it. I wasn’t supposed to know the outcome, but she was there to tell me that in due time, I would endure to find myself where I needed to be.

And, of course that’s exactly what happened. My job changed, and I grew to enjoy it. I went through a layoff and got a nice chunk of change, then I ended up getting my Realistic Dream Job. It wasn’t in design, but I was doing work I liked and was good at. Financially, it made my life easier, and it freed me from the internal conflict I’d wrestled with since graduating from school. I would have never gotten the job if I hadn’t stuck with the old one. It paved the way for a better opportunity. I’m right where I’m supposed to be, and while she could not tell me, The Star knew best.

Now, I’m at a different phase. I’m picking up where I left off. I’m interested in the mysteries… again! There are immeasurable things to know, understand, and explore. I want to see how it all fits together. I believe that it does. I want to figure it out. I need to! I’ve been quite enthusiastic, and I’ve broke through a lot of personal barriers and had some stunning experiences. The Gods found me. Still, Tarot has always been a part of the puzzle for me. It’s the conduit, for me. In design, we often talk about the message we intend to convey through our work. On a spiritual-philosophical-mystical-religious level, tarot acts as a conduit for me. It’s not all about diviniation, although that’s fun too. The High Priestess has become my Constant Reminder. She, like the Star, won’t tell me exactly why she’s become so familiar. It’s in a different way though. It is her nature not to give away all of her secrets so easily. I’m trying to know her, or know why she is here. It’s not easy, but that is her way. As I delve into the Mystical World more deeply, she is there. It’s been strange, yet amazing.

I’ve been using the full moon as a time to recharge my batteries. The High Priestess from the Thoth Deck is a marvelous card to meditate on during that time. I also did something new recently. When I found a pendant with the High Priestess, I absolutely had to get one, and chose to have a moonstone imbedded in it. It’s quite lovely, really. It’s one of those things that every tarot enthusiast who has a favorite or particularly meaningful card must have. If she is going to be around, I might as well interpret that literally.

I don’t know how long she’ll be around, but my Constant Reminders tend to shift each time there is a Leap Year. Weird how that works, eh? 2012… What do you have to tell me?


One thought on “Me & My Constant Reminders

  1. 3 things:

    Number the first) I did NOT need to know about tarot jewellery! Bad, bad, bad erishilton!

    2) The Star is hanging around my place too. I think we are on somewhat similar journeys down the Great Rabbit Hole.

    Lastly) I still love the way you write and the little erisisms you throw in make it just. so. you. Keep it up (or I’ll send the Q of Swords to spank your ass.)

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